Authoritarian Parenting Can Make It Harder for a Child to Succeed—Here’s Why
A study says parents are trying to take control of their child’s academic pursuits. Experts explain why that can cause issues.
Over the past few years, children have faced academic challenges stemming from pandemic-related changes, such as virtual learning. A survey of over 3,000 parents by Test Prep Insight indicates that many are becoming stricter about academics to ensure their children’s future success. According to the survey:
- 49% of parents are more controlling due to anxiety about their children’s ability to navigate the job market.
- 20% of parents are highly focused on educational attainment.
Katie Dorn, MA, LSC, MFT, a licensed school counselor and founding partner of EmpowerU, believes this strict approach stems from love and concern. “Parents want to ensure their child is set up for success in a rapidly changing world,” she says. However, she warns that focusing solely on academics can overlook teaching resilience and coping with setbacks.
How Does Parenting Style Affect Academic Performance?
Our parenting styles often reflect how we were raised. Psychologist Diana Baumrind identified three main parenting styles in the 1960s—authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. Researchers later added a fourth: neglectful parenting.
Here’s how these styles impact academic performance:
- Authoritative: A coaching approach that balances clear goals with support and active listening. This style promotes independence and emotional well-being.
- Authoritarian: A controlling approach relying on punishment rather than positive reinforcement, which can hinder creativity and motivation.
- Permissive: A non-punitive, affirming approach that lacks boundaries, potentially leading to difficulty with rules and self-discipline.
Is Strict Parenting Effective in Education?
While boundaries are important, overly strict, authoritarian parenting can hinder children’s autonomy and motivation to learn. Experts recommend finding a balance between structure and flexibility to foster open communication and mutual respect.
Authoritative parenting is ideal, combining clear expectations with support, communication, and respect for the child’s thoughts and feelings. This approach promotes both academic success and emotional well-being.
How to Help Your Child Succeed Academically
Experts suggest these strategies to support your child’s academic growth:
1. Customize Your Approach
Respect your child’s individual needs and learning style. Provide encouragement, resources, and guidance tailored to their unique abilities.
2. Focus on Solutions Together
Engage in constructive conversations when your child faces challenges. For example, if they receive a low grade, ask, “How do you feel about this? What can we do to improve next time?” This helps them feel heard and motivated.
3. Embrace Failure
Teach your child that failures are valuable learning experiences. Support them through setbacks to build resilience and empower them to make decisions.
4. Manage Conflicts in a Healthy Way
Encourage open communication during disagreements. Validate their feelings while setting boundaries, such as continuing with an English tutor despite their frustration.
5. Intervene When Necessary
While it’s important to let children learn from their mistakes, step in when they’re struggling academically or emotionally. Strike a balance between support and autonomy to help them grow into confident, self-directed learners.
